I Don't Love You
by BelovedSlayer
Summary: Angel is preparing to walk down the aisle. Buffy has realized her feelings for him. Will she be able to confess her love before he takes his vows to someone she's not remotely fond of? All human.
1. Chapter 1

Title: I Don't Love You

TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Author: Beloved Slayer

Rating: T

Summary: Angel is preparing to walk down the aisle. Buffy has realized her feelings for him. Will she be able to confess her love before he takes his vows to someone she's not remotely fond of? All human.

~~~~/////

Chapter One

She paced relentlessly back and forth, hands clawing through her disheveled hair as she attempted to smooth her ivory dress that was clinging to her like a second skin, accentuating her curves.

Her cheeks flushed, she took a quick glance upon the full length mirror that was adorned with white roses, casting a questionable, confused expression that mirrored her stern, yet uncertain pout.

_I can do this. I can do this. No need to panic_ _Buffy. Everything's gonna be fine. _Her mind was laced with useless drivel as an attempt to discourage and mask the true intention of her endless fretting, her heels leaving traces of scathed marks on the polished Italian marble floor.

"I can do this. There's still time to tell him," Buffy asserted herself, smoothing her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear, suppressing anxiety that was threatening to spill to the surface. She left another trail on the polished floor, inhaling the scent of vanilla and lavender potpourri that wafted in the air, trying to relax her frayed nerves.

"Time to tell him what?" Came a scowled voice that inadvertently belonged to the bride, whom Buffy detested with every fiber of her being. The soon-to-be Mrs. Darla Connors arrived in the women's restroom with a grace that beamed confidence, looking as elegant as ever in a white Vera Wang dress that was attached to a ten-foot train, both pieces embroidered with thousands of small crystals that sent rainbows under the soft light of the crystal chandelier.

"Oh, it's nothing. Not like it's any of your business," Buffy scoffed, polishing and flickering her manicured nails in an expression that resembled casualty. "It is, if you're talking about the man that I'm about to marry in a few minutes," Darla rebuffed, her face creasing into a venomous frown. "You know you can't have him Buffy. I know how you feel about him, but you're too late now. He's all mine after today. You won't be able to stop us, and soon we'll be on the honeymoon, making babies, which you will never have if your life depended on it."

Darla released a short bark, tugging at her tresses before turning around to exit the women's bathroom. Buffy remained behind in utter silence, a tear pooling in the corner of her eye, hands clenching into fists, her beating heart both tense and defiant to deny the unbearable fact that Darla was right in her evaluation. Then a voice announced that the ceremony was about to begin soon.

"Everyone, please be seated. We only have thirty minutes before the ceremony is to commence."

_Oh no, maybe I'm too late, _Buffy mentally shouted, shuffling to gather her things together before making a dash exit out of the bathroom, scurrying outside to the front archway entrance of the Gothic church that stood before her, stopping in her tracks.

"Buffy, where have you been? Angel's about to get married!" appeared the worried voice of her best friend, Willow, who was dressed in a tourmaline off the shoulder chiffon dress, heels clacking noisily on the stone pavement. "Just cleaning myself up, Will. Ugh, I so do not want to do this. I don't wanna see him get married to _her. _He deserves better, but his stubbornness doesn't let him see that. Any way we can just ditch the ceremony and go home?" Buffy resigned with a note of sadness in her voice, turning her head in order to avoid Willow's sympathetic gaze.

Willow stood in her tracks. "You know we can't, Buffy. We're here to support him, no matter what. Are you scared?" Buffy reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. I love him, and he doesn't even know how I feel. It's probably too late now to confess. I tried to tell him earlier, but right away he made an assumption that I was _jealous_ of his fiancée, and that my feelings for him are only 'cause I have a tiny crush on him, nothing more, or so he says. I couldn't even get a word out to defend myself! Can you believe that crap? Him accusing me of being jealous of Darla? Yeah, I don't think so buddy. More than ever, my gut says not to trust her. I've been having that feeling for most of the time they were engaged, and it's saying that she's only after him for his money. I tried telling him this a few times, but since then he totally denied it, so I hadn't mentioned it since. I don't know, maybe he's afraid that I was telling the truth. But I guess it's no use now. I know she'll end up hurting him eventually, and I can't do a damn thing about it. He thinks he's in love with her. What can I do about it?"

"Probably nothing, but Buffy, maybe it's not too late. There's still twenty minutes left to tell Angel how you feel. If you don't tell him now, who knows if you'll get another chance."

"I know. I'm just scared, is all. What if he rejects my confession in front of all the guests and family?" Buffy dabbed her eyes with a spare tissue from her clutch.

"Buffy, c'mon, you're a strong woman. If you don't take a risk for love, then what do you take it for?" Willow assured, pulling her friend into a small hug in comfort. "You're right, Will. I have to risk it. Otherwise, I'll live with the guilt of not telling Angel my feelings for the rest of my life… probably," Buffy queried, returning the embrace.

"Darn tootin' right I am. You know it. I think deep down, he knows that he loves you Buffy. He's just afraid of taking a chance because admitting it might disappoint his family. You know how snobby and uptight they are with their values. They want only the best for him, even if that person might not be the right woman for him. Like Darla. Can't stand her myself. She's a bitcha."

At Willow's admission, Buffy let out a laugh that resembled a snort. "A bitch? Have you been stealing Xander's oddball vocabulary again Will?"

"I guess I have," Willow smiled sheepishly. She reached for Buffy's calloused hand. "C'mon, we better hurry if you want to lay it all out. Or the bitch bride from Hell will steal him away."

Buffy nodded, allowing Willow to take the lead as they ventured through many rose vineyards that were situated between the church and the newly constructed banquet hall, heading towards a clearing that was surrounded by white picket chairs and tables, Oriental vases filled with yellow daisies and roses, and various other decorations that were strewn about.

Immediately, Buffy's eyes were drawn to the tall figure that was dressed in an Armani suit, body hunched over a buffet table. Angel. "He's right there. Why don't you go talk to him?" Willow questioned, eyes on his protruding back. "Will, I don't think I can. What if he won't listen?" Buffy's knees were buckling underneath her weight, but she managed to hold her balance in spite of it.

"Buffy, he's not the only one who's stubborn. So are you. You can do it. Go up to him and tell him what's in your heart. I believe in you. Cheesy, I know, but still."

"Thanks Will. I can do this. Here goes." Buffy smoothed her dress one last time, wishing that she could quell her nervousness, but knew it was no use. Leaving Willow behind, she trotted quietly towards the buffet table, careful as to not enter Angel's line of vision.

She inhaled her lungs, mouth gaping to form the words that she needed to express. "Angel, I need to talk to you."

Angel spun around, chocolate brown eyes locking with hers. "Buffy, is something wrong?" His face lined with worry. "I……no, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to tell you something. There's something I need to confess and I'm too damn scared to admit it." Angel's eyebrow was raised, curious. "It's okay, there's nothing to be scared about."

Buffy lowered her eyes, avoiding Angel's prodding gaze. She muttered, " I'm in love with you." She hoped that he hadn't heard her words. She tilted her head, realizing that he had, his eyes in disbelief. "In love with me? Buffy, you can't be serious. I'm getting married in a few minutes, and you're just now telling me this?" His words took on a hardened edge. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

Buffy let out a sigh of exasperation. "Because I couldn't! I tried telling you before, but you didn't listen. You kept accusing me of being jealous of Darla, which is so far from the truth mister." Her face turned a bright crimson, arms folding, tears of humiliation and anger spilling. She was admittedly stunned at Angel's blunt reaction.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but the only one I'm in love with is Darla. I don't feel the same way for you. She's the one I want to spend my life with." Angel's voice softened, but was tinged with what appeared to be regret, and determination.

Neither of them speaking another word, Angel left a baffled Buffy to mend her now broken heart.

**A/N: I had originally decided to write this little ficlet as a one shot, but now decided to split it into two parts, so there's one more chapter left. I'll probably write it in Angel's POV for the first half of the next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: One reader had asked why I didn't include Darla's reaction to this chapter, so I decided to delete my original chapter and repost a new one to make up for it. I hope you guys have liked the story. Thank you for the supportive, awesome reviews, favorite story alerts, and story alerts. I'll probably be working on a one shot story soon, if possible, then start work on the next chapter for Pyre's Song. And yes, Angel is probably a little bit out of character, so is Buffy, but it's intended. But anyways, thanks for reading!  
**

Chapter Two

Angel's POV

I left her behind to her devices, not allowing myself to turn to gaze at the heartbroken, stunned expression that befitted on her. I blamed myself for everything; all because I had lied through my teeth about Darla being the one that I loved.

It was far from the truth. Darla wasn't the woman I was in head over heels in love with. Buffy Summers was. Always had been since the moment we first met, when I first laid my eyes on her. Of course, at the beginning, I had vehemently denied it all.

For the sake of protecting my family's image, and to spare my fiancée from any potential pain that I might had caused if I had admitted to those feelings.

Even so, how could I have been so stupid? Buffy was articulate and intelligent enough to recognize that I had feelings for her; she could see through me, but every time we had contact with each other, I would deny it and twist it around, telling her that she only had a small, meager crush on me, that it was unrequited love, and that'll she get over it eventually. I made it plain and simple, without giving a thought that I was hurting her.

I didn't want to admit to the realization that she was truly in love with me, otherwise, she would had ruin things for myself, my family, and for my future wife. They didn't see her as someone worthy of receiving my love, nor giving her that same gift. Not at all.

Having her love me, and me loving her in return would had also ruin my plans to gain the next promotion to president of my Fortune 500 company.

I couldn't take those risks, even though at times I felt a painful tug stabbing directly in the center of my chest.

The most important reason I denied my true love was the unfortunate fact that my family would had been constantly harassed and ostracized by the paparazzi and the high society newspapers.

What would they think if I had fallen in love with a shrew and married her instead of the graceful, exuberant Darla?

It was more than perfectly alright to extend an invitation to Buffy for my wedding, but not to love her because she came from the wrong side of town?

So I did what I had to do. I told Buffy that I didn't love her. And hoped that she believed my false confession. That was that. I wanted the situation to be laid to rest. No matter if at the moment, it was killing me on the inside.

It was beyond unbearable. I loved Buffy, and yet, in just moments I was going to marry and settle down with someone else. It was the ultimate betrayal to myself, and to Buffy.

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Buffy stood motionlessly, hand clamping her mouth as she tried to suppress hiccups from forming in her throat. She was in utter disbelief, salty tears blinding her vision.

She didn't paid no attention to the two brides maids who were standing near the table, gossiping and gawking at her through fiery eyes. She didn't give a damn what they thought about her broken appearance.

Despite her emotional public breakdown, it took her a few minutes to gather herself and dry her tears before she attempted to approach Angel again, a stern, crossed look plastered on her flushed face.

Despite his words, she knew that underneath, he was lying to her. Again. "Angel!" Her voice caught his unwanted attention as he made his way towards the gardens.

He unwillingly stopped in his tracks, not turning to face her. "Buffy, didn't you hear what I just said? Can you take a hint? I don't love you. And that's that." His shoulders and posture sunken, he continued to trot, this time towards the vineyards, but Buffy's hand had forced him to stop from moving any further.

"You know that's not true. I know you're lying Angel. I can see it in your eyes. Why don't you tell me the truth? Why are you so scared of being upfront with me?" Buffy rebutted. "I'm not going anywhere until you at least tell me, damnit. And I don't want excuses."

He exhumed a defeated sigh. "You want to know why? Do you really? It's because at least with Darla, I don't have to fight to have someone to love me. Do you get it Buffy? I can never have you. As long as my family and society don't approve, I can never be with you. We can never be together. If we do, everything will be ruined."

Buffy let out a sarcastic snort, mouth agape. "You can't be serious? Angel, do you really care what everyone thinks of me? You know you can't be in love with Darla. I can see it in your eyes. You don't love her at all."

"It doesn't matter how I feel Buffy. With Darla, I can start a family of my own, and that's something that I absolutely want. So why throw it all away and start over, just for you? Settling is much more easier than doing all of that. And I rather have that than be lonely."

Buffy was taken aback. "So you're willing to tie yourself down with someone you don't even love, just so you can settle and make babies? You're just gonna give up like that, like the coward that you are? Is that what you _really_ want? Because I can't believe that you're willing to go through all of this, just so you don't want to be alone."

This time, Angel spun around, his face hovering inches above hers. "Believe it. No matter how I feel about you Buffy, I'm still gonna get married. You're not gonna change my mind. I'm done with this conversation. You can either stay, or leave, that's up to you. Because I don't give a damn anymore." With that, he strutted off, joining his wife and the rest of the Connors family.

For the second time that day, Buffy's heart shattered into tiny fragments, leaving a shell of her self alongside the pieces. And a single tear.

~~~~/////

"Do you Miss Connors, take Mr. O'Rourke, to be your lawful husband, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, through sickness and health, until death do you part?"

"I do." Darla's smile glistened wickedly under the sunlight, giving Buffy a brief glance that caused her insides to boil.

"Do you Mr. O'Rourke, take Miss Connors, to be your lawful wife, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, through sickness and health, until death do you part?"

It was the moment of truth, Angel suddenly realized. All eyes were laid on him, all five hundred guests expecting his immediate, certain response, including his parents and the rest of his family, both immediate and extended. Not to mention countless paparazzi waiting anxiously outside in front of the double cast iron gates. What could he say? Did he really want to go through the ceremony and marry Darla for his wife? Did he really want to have the burden of regret and guilt weighted on his consciousness? Did he really want to spend the rest of his life with her? Darla, whom he didn't express any kind of love for? Did he want to disappoint his family by announcing to the world that he didn't want to marry her after all?

It was as if he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, countless questions running through his frantic mind, uncertain of the answers. Ignoring both Darla and the priest, Angel instinctively turned to face the frozen expression that belonged to Buffy.

Abruptly, the expression softened, to one of warmth, but also pensive, and love. "I love you," she mouthed, her invisible words melting his hardened exterior.

He faced the priest. "I can't....I won't. I'm sorry Darla."

Darla's expression was empty, absolutely stunned beyond belief. "What?! What are you saying? You don't want to get married?"

Angel's face was solemn. "I don't. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying to everyone. I don't love you. I never have. Buffy is the one I truly want to spend my life with. And we both know why you wanted to marry me in the first place Darla. You didn't want to marry me for love. You wanted to marry me because I was rich."

It was as if a delicate needle had unexpectedly dropped amongst the crowd. Everything was silence after that admission. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this. It's not fair to either of us, or our families and friends," Angel confessed, his brows furrowed. "So I'm ending it now. The wedding is officially off. Goodbye, Darla." A scowl developed on Darla's crimson face, mouthing the words 'Fuck you Angel!' while tossing her bouquet, running to the clearing, heels stomping harshly on the cement pavement.

With that final announcement off of his chest, Angel spun to face Buffy, his focus solely on her. "You were right. I did lie. I was too scared to admit my true feelings. Buffy, you're the one that I love, more than anything else in the world. And I don't care what anyone else says. I love you, and nothing's ever gonna change that."

Buffy dabbed her eyes with a fresh tissue, jumping from her seat to quickly approach Angel, wrapping herself against his embrace. "I'd knew you'd come around. What took you so freakin' long?" She grinned mischievously.

"I don't know. Maybe I finally accepted what my heart's been saying the entire time. You were right Buffy, about everything, including the fact that Darla was only after me for my money. I'm so stupid. You can't imagine how sorry I am, for what I've put you through. Will you forgive me? It's okay if you don't, I understand, but hey, I don't want you angry at me forever."

Silence, then she pressed a finger to his lips. "Don't. It's okay. I knew somehow that it'd take you a while to see the light, but I didn't listen, obviously. You don't have anything to apologize for. Don't blame yourself, okay?"

Angel nodded, Buffy placing the lightest of kisses against his soft lips, before the kiss turned passionate, and it deepened. "I love you," she whispered, her cool breath tickling against his skin. "I love you too. That's all that matters," he muted, taking her into his arms.

Without throwing a single care to the surrounding chaos, Buffy and Angel ventured off into their own little world, filling it with kisses, and contentment.


End file.
